Ah, rugby. Bruises, tackles, blood, and British men come to mind when I think of rugby, but above all is the socially accepted high consumption of alcohol and beer.
Yup, in rugby it's ok to be an alcoholic, in fact, if you're not reaching for a beer after a game, you're looked at as an outcast. In rugby, socials play a huge part in the social aspect of the sport. It's where teams bond through collective singing and insulting, and how teams establish good relationships with other teams.
Though socials aren't for everyone. They're not for the easily-insulted, highly religious, sore losers, or people who always walk around with a stick up their arse. But if you have a good sense of humor and enjoy a feast of pizza and beer (and who doesn't after an intense rugby game?), then socials are the thing for you! Especially when it comes to the infamous rugby songs. Rugby songs are offensive, blasphemous, lewd, highly sexually, and you tend to leave feeling as though you're one step closer to burning in Hell. But damn are they catchy.
During the match insults and punches fly, however, all of this animosity stays on the field once the match is over. Everyone packs up their stuff and anxiously heads on over to the social. Here, everyone talks, laughs, and mingles with the other team as though we've been friends forever, taking bites from pizza whenever one is done taking a gulp of beer. Then, from the center of the room, someone shouts, "ME-ME-ME-MEEEE," to which the crowd responds, "YOU-YOU-YOU-YOUUU," signalling the start of the highly anticipated rugby songs. Drink in hand, everyone forms a circle, with the shouter beginning the song of her choice, begging for the crowd's participation when needed. Rugby songs rely heavily on this back-and-forth relationship with the lead singer and the crowd, and it is in this way that teams bond together and the fun truly begins.
Below are some lines from my personal fave rugby songs. You have been warned.
I Used to Work in Chicago
I used to work in Chicago in an old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
Lead: A man came into the store one day, asking for a ruler.
All: A ruler? From the store?
Lead: A ruler he asked for, his 12 inches I got! I don't work there anymore!
Lead: A man came into the store, asking for seafood.
All: Seafood? From the store?
Lead: Seafood he asked for, my crabs he got! I don't work there anymore!!
Follow the Band aka Me Lover
Oh, you've got to drink a little, fuck a little, follow the band
Follow the band with your tits in your hand (toot toot)
Drink a little, fuck a little, follow the band
Follow the band all the way
Oh me lover's a pastry chef, a pastry chef, a pastry chef, a mighty fine pastry chef is he,
All day he fills tarts, he fills tarts, he fills tarts,
And when he comes home he fills me!
Oh me lover's a dentist, a dentist, a dentist, a mighty fine dentist is he,
All day he drills teeth, he drills teeth, he drills teeth,
And when he comes home he drills me!
Honestly, I just got excited writing these done. Really wish I was at a social singing these now....where's my beer?
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